So, our van is under the weather (read: needs work to pass inspection, husband is doing said work between going to school full time and working full time.) The kids and I have been hanging out at home, which frankly, is ok with me at the moment. I'm needing some alone time and reflection lately, so it's easier for me to stay put and nest at home. Or so I thought. Today I got bored. Today I looked for things to do and instead of cleaning, going outside or finishing any number of projects already in progress, I decided to make new projects! Today, I attempted too many things that I had pinned in the effort to make the day go by. In doing this, I have proven to myself that it is time to help get the van fixed and get back out among the populace. (aka: our community/friends, not just random people. Our friends are the best and if I'm leaving my cocoon for anyone, it's them)
If you're not familiar with Pinterest I'm not sure what to tell you. Part of me, most of me, wants to recommend it but there's a little argument going on in my mind. It has the dangers of many places on the internet, hell of the internet in general - it will suck you into its time vortex and you will never escape! On the flip side, this is a really fun place to get stuck. You can find instructions and inspiration to do just about anything. This can lead to wonderful improvements in your home, social life, crafting abilities and overall contentedness. It can also fail miserably and leave you weeping in a corner cursing the original pin that made making a seven layer rainbow cake from scratch look easy. I've pinned hundreds of things in the last few months but have done very few of them. That's another way Pinterest gets you. It's basically a "When I have time/Rainy day" collection for awesome things you WANT to do, but can never find the time to do. It's self defeating by design. But did I listen to my own warnings? NO! Of course not! Where's the fun in that?!
There is a whole website devoted to Pinterest endeavors gone wrong. I've blatantly stolen from them with this post. But here's where I make it all ok with a shout out and a link to the hilarity that is Pintrosity. The following are my adventures with Pinterest today and how even with the best of intentions, they failed miserably. For the truly funny screw ups that Pinterest is responsible for, please visit Pintrosity. They have much funnier pictures than mine, including blown up food and ruined Beer Bottle Cap tables.
Most of the Pins I attempted were focused on re-organizing the house. Sounds great in theory. Until I remember that these projects are best attempted alone, with an empty house and a big mug of tea on a Saturday morning.
First Attempt: "Converting a Bookshelf into a Mud Closet"
This Pin made so much sense on the board. We don't have a mudroom in our house, it's one of the few things about apartment that we do miss. A place to come in and take off muddy/snowy boots, coats etc. We just happen to have this bookshelf sitting in the kitchen, near the side door. It was housing some books, but none that we use on a regular basis and I was feeling encouraged so why not?! It sort of worked out. The catch here is that my bookshelf does not have adjustable shelves, which limits its usefulness a bit. I really wanted to have a big open shelf, like the one pictured, to hold my purse and Tim's backpack. But what do you want for free, spur of the moment home improvement? I also need three baskets to fit on that empty middle shelf . They would be incredibly useful in the winter months for hats, mittens etc. Overall, this is not a fail. But it may be too early to call it. It's almost summer here, which means we have far fewer items to store in this space. We'll revisit this in January and again in March. There's nothing like Mud Season in Maine to test the Mud Closet.
Second Attempt: "Spotless Floor"
This Pin promised a "spotless floor that leaves EVERYTHING smelling amazing!" There is not a scratch and sniff option for the internet (yet. And aren't we all thankful for that?), so I didn't take a side by side photo. You've seen one bucket of soapy water you've seen them all, right? The recipe calls for: 1/4 C White Vinegar, 1/4 C Baking Soda, 1T of Dish Soap and 2 Gallons of hot water. I didn't notice any big difference in the way my kitchen smelled after using this compared to my usual cleaner of Mrs. Meyer's All Purpose Cleaner. But, it did clean the floor and it's made from things I always have in the house, so if I ever get stuck without Mrs. Meyer's (gasp!) I have a usable backup. I also live with two ferrets and three young kids, so how great is my house going to smell really? Ever?
Third Attempt: "Clean Your Face"
This Pin might as well have had a flashing yellow sign above it. It involved Make It Yourself beauty products. I'm a sucker for those. Any home remedy for split ends, cracked cuticles, dry feet - you name it, I've probably tried it. The offer of homemade (cheap) Biore Poor Strips was more than I could stand. So I did it. I shouldn't have. It hurt. A LOT!!! And it didn't take any blackheads with it. Which I don't understand because it definitely took a few layers of skin. At least it provided some goofy pictures of me, you're welcome.
See how my chin and nose are all shiny? That's almond milk and unflavored gelatin - The homemade Pore Strip. AKA, 'how I got a chemical peel without trying'. My face looks the same except my nose is very red now, so if you used it on your cheeks you'll get a nice blush effect. I would not recommend using this Pin unless you're trying to get cast as an extra in a zombie movie and you want chunks of your face to be red, burning and so irritating that you can't think straight.
For now, I'm going to explore the Humor tab on Pinterest and Pin pics of geek jokes, Liz Lemon quotes and IMs from Dog. Like I said, there's a really good side to Pinterest too.
Oh no one left alive in ninteen hundred and eighty five will ever do She may be right She may be fine She may get love but she won't get mine 'cos i got you
Oh no one left alive in 1985, will ever do She may be right She may be fine She may get love but she won't get mine 'cos i got you Oh i oh i Well i just can't enough of that sweet stuff My little lady gets behind
On my mama said the time would come When i would find myself in love with you I didn't think i never dreamed That i would be around to see it all come true Woh i oh i Well i just can't get enough of that sweet stuff My little lady gets behind
I've broken down and am not ashamed to admit it. I'm using writing prompts. I've been feeling the urge to write again for a few months now, but haven't made myself sit down and do it. So much of it was due to fear that I had nothing to say, nothing of interest or merit, or worst of all...nothing. Just plain old nothing. I find it's pretty easy to think I have nothing to say. Then I spend time with friends, or get the chance to sit with Tim without kids around and I can't shut up. So clearly, there's just some self-censoring going on and nothing more. To overcome this I will now attempt to write everyday for the next week without concern that what I have to say isn't funny, intelligent, interesting, inspiring or good enough. You've been warned, there might be a lot of crappy blog posts coming at you. But hey, that's your judgement, not mine. My judgement has laryngitis.
Now, my list of writing prompts. I'm not sure which prompts I will use yet, but, hey I've got to start somewhere and it's amazing what inspiration you can find via the internet. Utilize the tools around you!
Write about something you’re afraid of – explain why you’re afraid. - Puppets/Porcelain dolls. Don't trust anything that can't move its eyes and is still always looking RIGHTATYOU.
Explain how to do something in five steps. - How to put my kids to bed, but that's way more than 5
How does music sound to you? - Um, freaking incredible! How does it sound to you? Should we call your doctor? I'm kind of worried that you have to ask this. What are you listening to?
What do you want to accomplish before you die? - Oh yeah, the ever popular "trick" prompt question that sends the writer into an existential rant that starts strong and hopeful, then slowly declines into a reflection of past failures, unfinished projects and results in the writer weeping at her monitor. I'm going to step slowly around this one. No sudden movements!
Tell someone from the early 1900′s about the Internet. Or TV. Or better yet, YOUR CELL PHONE. - AKA answer the kids questions when they hear Tim and I talking about our childhoods.
What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? - The MOST? I think there is more than one. I've gone through pregnancy and given birth three times, I could write a book right there. The response to this question would be a series on the blog, organized by Genres/Age/Level of humiliation
If you had to be an animal for a day, what would it be? Tell about your day. - Honey Badger. Ate whatever I wanted, scared off jungle animals, beat death.I don't give a shit.
What is the oldest piece of clothing in your closet that you still wear? - The best T shirt ever, thanks to my brother!
Pick a controversial issue you are passionate about – and then argue the opposite stance - I'm picking a fight with myself! I'm going to win!!!
A genie grants you three writing-related wishes. What are they? - A laptop, endless talent, and the ability to function well without needing sleep. Ever.
I had some login issues yesterday, complete and total user error. I've been wanting to get back to writing for a long while now but not making the time. Today, I knew I wanted to get back here and share this song, and the day of the week wasn't about to stop me. So here you go! I'm hopeful that some real writing will appear here sometime in the near future too.
I welcome the sun
The clouds and rain
The wind that sweeps the sky clean and lets the sun shine again