NaNoWriMo Write MORE

It's November, which means three things to me:

1) Movember, when men stop shaving to raise money for Cancer research. Excellent cause, even better pics in my Facebook feed.  Thank you to my friends who sport the stache this month!

2) Thanksgiving.  When we get to make all the holiday food we like, spend a day in our house relaxing, and are not required to watch any sporting events.

3) NaNoWriMo.  My friend T told me about this last year and this year I intended to try it.  I still intend to try it, I shouldn't write in the past tense.  I should be present and positive and reaffirm my intention to make this happen.  But honesty kicks in, and I have to admit I've written about 300 words and it's November 7th. I do not like Math, and I do not like this math in particular.

I've struggled with writing most of my life.  Struggled with it in the fact that I've loved it, craved it, wanted to excel at it, and yet have always felt that I've fallen short.  I chose the college I went to because it had a strong Liberal Arts core and offered a Creative Writing major.  I didn't expect to graduate with a degree in writing that would guarantee my success as a novelist, but the idea that I could make a living at something I love pulled at me.

It still does years later.  I love to read, and I love to discuss what I read.  I'm really thankful that Tim and I have similar reading tastes and that we can get hooked on the same books and pick them apart together. Each of us reflecting on different aspects of the same story.  It might be what I love most about writing/reading - that twenty people can read the same story and have a unique take away, and that each of those interpretations is not what the author intended.

Writing has not always been that easy.  I adore it.  I realize now that it's one of my passions and something that I want to dedicate more time and energy too.  The trick is, how to do that and be cultivate that passion? I know for me, being self aware of the fact that "I am writing!"  "I am speaking!" can get in my way.  I can start wondering how people will read my words, how some may think my writing is awful, some may find it boring, rambly, etc.  I have to accept that.  Everyone has different tastes, and someone's choice in style isn't a reflection on my abilities.  I have to remove myself from the story.  I have to re-frame how I think about writing and not see it as, "Leila wrote this, and thinks this," but see myself as the translator of someone else's story.

If I hadn't dropped out of college I might not wrestle with writing in the way I do now, because I'd have more practice and more confidence in my abilities. I'm sure I'd also have learned a few tricks about how to get around these stumbling blocks, because I imagine they are quite common.  But, I'm also sure I'd still find myself struggling at times, just in different ways.  So this month, I sit here attempting to simply write.  To remove the self editing and just get the words down.  There is always time for revision, for second guessing a name or setting, but just writing for the sake of writing?  That needs to be done. Which is why I came here. In an attempt to kindle that fire within that tells me to write, to share my stories I'm starting here, with where I am in this moment.  I'm hoping it will be an exercise in focusing, that it will give me the push I need to go into that fiction world a bit more, and translate a story from another world into mine.

Tuesday Tunes

Tuesday Tunes (Belated, clearly)

Encouraging, uplifting song anyone?  What if I tell you it comes with flash mob dancing, minus the mob? There's a name for that I'm sure, but I don't know what it is and I don't have the time to Google.  It's a busy life I lead.  





Sarah Bareilles - Brave

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Innocence, your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

This Moment

Tuesday Tunes

New Arcade Fire!  New Arcade Fire!  New Arcade Fire!

Tuesday Tunes

Fun stuff!!!!  This song and its video are just straight up fun.  Guaranteed to become an ear worm.  You're welcome!




My Number - Foals

You don’t have my number, we don’t need each other now

We don’t need the city, the creed or the culture now

'Cause I feel, I feel alive, I feel, I feel alive

I feel the streets are all pulling me down

So people of the city I don’t need your counsel now

And I don’t need your good advice, you don’t have my lover’s touch

You don’t have my number, we don’t need each other now

The creed or the culture, we can move beyond it now

Now the wolf is knocking at my door, bang-banging, ask for more

Stand here, we stand tall, we could move beyond these walls

I don’t need your counsel, I don't need these city streets

I don’t need that good advice 'cause we can move beyond it now

You don’t have my number, we don’t need each other now

The creed or the culture, you don’t have my lover’s touch

'Cause I feel, I feel alive, I feel, I feel alive

I feel the streets are all far from there

Do you even hear me? Do you even know my name?

Can you see the ocean now? You don’t have my lover’s touch

You don’t have my number, you don’t have my number

People, can you hear me? Are you even listening now?

'Cause you don’t have my number, we don’t need each other now

You can't steal my thunder 'cause you don’t have my lover’s touch

You don’t have my number and I don’t need no one else

And I don’t need these city streets, the creed or the culture now

Famous Last Words

We've taken to visiting our local Humane Society fairly often.  Ben asked to go a few weekends ago and so we did.  Not a bad way to spend a few hours on a Saturday, meeting some nice cats and dogs who are looking for new homes.  We always go knowing we are not adopting anything, especially not a cat because of Nate's allergies.  It's also highly unlikely we'll adopt a dog either, unless they happen to have a Schnauzer who is need of a new home - that's a game-changer.

*SIDE STEP - The following is random, but relevant.  Patience please! This summer, Sydney discovered the Pigeon series by Mo Willems. If you are parent to a child over the age of three and have not read these books yet, get your butt to the library NOW.  Stop reading my nonsense ramblings and go.  So, as I was saying, Syda is in love with them, she borrows at least three every time we go to the library and she asks to read them constantly.*

Naturally, on our way to the humane society, the kids were talking about what animals they'd see.  Ben visits their website often and was speculating on whether or not Rocky would still be there or Trixie.  Nate told us he only want to see the cats for a few minutes, but the dogs for longer.  It was a typical planning meeting. Then Syda asked the most logical question , "I can get a pigeon?"  We all smiled and I even laughed a little when I said, "No, sorry Syda.  There are no pigeons at the shelter."  Then we got there.

Look at his smug expression.  My three year old will never believe another word I say.

This dude made me a liar.  

I kid you not, he was waiting for us as we walked in.  With a big sign informing us that his name was Chico, he's a homing pigeon who has decided to make the humane society his new home.  Note the band on his leg - he's legit.  This is not some random pigeon that got lost on his way between the Target and Wal Mart parking lots.

Fortunately, he and Syda didn't strike up a bond that day.  But she was thoroughly excited that the animal she had asked for was delivered.  I've tried asking for a million dollars to be greeting us on the walkway when we visit the shelter. Hey, if Syda can get a pigeon, I can get my dream too! 

This Saturday we went for another visit, and Chico greeted us again.  And, what I feared most happened. He noticed Sydney. He liked Sydney.  He tried to bond with Sydney.  She was sitting out in the courtyard area playing in the grass and rocks, which happens to be right near where Chico likes to lie in the sun.  So, while she was out there waiting patiently for me to fill out some paperwork (more on that later) Chico kept inching closer and closer to her.  Sadly, I didn't manage to get a picture of them, but he got all of two feet away from her and I'll be damned if it wasn't some human/pigeon parallel play going on there.  One of the CVHS Employees even commented on it.  Chico clearly knows about the pigeon books and he knows that Syda doesn't side with the bus driver.  She's Team Pigeon.  She would totally let him drive the bus, eat a hot dog, get a puppy, and stay up late.  Which is exactly why Chico will not be living in our backyard anytime soon.  Unless she gave him our address.....crap.

*If you are local and looking for a new pet, please visit CVHS.  If you can't adopt there are plenty of other ways to help, volunteer, donate, spread the word.